what can't stay goes away

Ending????

Well right now in light of recent black friday events in the online poker world my run has come to a startling halt.  but a storybook  ending to poker may be only the real beginning.  Hopefully introspection will find my initial reactions, of fear I would never see my bankroll, to regret of not maximizing my playing potential will help me grow as a person.  And even more hopefully, online poker can continue to be a beneficial part of my life whether on one of the remaining eligible sites, or in the event it becomes legalized, a return to pokerstars.

The immediate and starting events definitely threw me for a loop, and kind of ended up in a lasting depression that I have finally gotten over.  It was like someone punched me in the gut right as I was about to lunge into a second gear.  But such is life, and the only thing I can try to do is become a better person in whatever ways I can conceive.  

I hadn’t danced in weeks, until tonight, putting on lbs at a saddening rate.  I promised a high schooler I would make them a video of myself dancing, so I was able to put together a minute set of slow ass movements that almost pain myself to watch on replay.  I must use this as motivation to work harder to get back into shape.  this process will probably take at least a month, but this first week will be the most telling.  momentum is the key, and only I can provide myself with it to break the intertian(definitely not a word but sounds smart doesnt it!) state I have fallen in to.

I have slacked off in every aspect of life.  Sloth, my greatest sin, must be shed.  Whether I have the tools is not the issue.  Whether I can maintain the desire to improve is another thing.  But I have started today, and only I can turn myself slowly into a person of action, a person of today. fuck tomorrow, I must strive for today.

AC